Drinking

It started with pati’s bday in Nov 05 with smirnoff shots going down my throat,leaving behind a burning sensation.
But the aftermath was controlled . It reached it’s climax in the holi season . After getting placed not once but twice and
nothing to do save for the fyp (who cared but ?) so the four years of subdued feelings were outpoured in a single night.

Thinking abt replicating that nite’s fervor is a distant dream ,but even as i gulp the LIT sip by sip moshing to the
LP’s and Pink Floyd’s there ’s a twitch of guilt. Guilt…That’s astounding considering that one drinks to forget all the
strings that makes one mortal. Mortal in literal sense . Mortal that you don’t rmbr even you remotest miseries,your faintest
failures or anything that makes you unhappy . In short , you get high . You go with the flow .

But as i sit with ppl ,smoking and swaying to the musinc,saying “cheers” at every new drink, I feel alientaed . Alienated from my family and most importantly from myself. This is not who I am ?This is not the real ME or is it ? This is not how i started or i thought i would become.

Life outside your comfort zone compels you to view things differently.And you are left with two option either face it or brace it.

And am still deliberating what  have I done ?

I feel betrayed. Betrayed not by life ,but by this so called ALOCHOL,which has failed on me. I get high ,but not enough.
I can still distinctly remember wat troubles me , what i desire and what i am not ? What i have to do and the futility of what I have done ?
And so all i can say rite now is “I am not trying enough” . Not trying enough to get inebriated enuff….and perhaps i should try more..

so all i can say is “One WHISKY ON THE ROCKS” ….

CHEEERS ….