Confessionsofmind

Just started sinking in ….

nhili8r — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 22:39:49 +0000

After having put the final nail in the coffin of the end trimester examination, a realization happened. In less than 48 hours, I should be in France. Wow !!!

There is a weird feeling. Indescribable. Leaving the shores of India for the first time…

Nice…Plenty of things lined up. An experience worth saving …

BreathAnalyzed

nhili8r — Sun, 18 Sep 2011 14:30:37 +0000

Started reading Outliers. From the look of it another masterpiece, but more on it later.

Was coming on a Sat nite from Rawat’s place. Didn’t drink much just two black dog. Historically my record with the bangalore police has been clean. But I was challenging that theory to its extremes. I was speeding at around 50kmph when I saw that drunken driving was being checked. Daaammn Sat night policing. The policeman saw me, asked me to stop, which I did. Asked me to blow my breathe into the analyzer and there I was caught red handed. He politely asked me to park my car and come with him….

My luck had deserted me. I was on the verge of bribing him, when the images of Anna Hazare and his crusade against corruption reminded me about my duties to my country. I will take it like a man. I will pay the fine. The police man asked me to blow into another advanced analyzers. Instead of blowing into the machine, I sucked . How would I know what to do ? If was my first time

So I blew into the machine and then we waited for the result to be analyzed. And we waited while the infamous “timer” icon was rotating. Out came the results. The reading was 8. Now to be very fair. I had no clue what that meant. I looked at the policeman. I could look into his expression. It was of disappointment. Here he had a perfect prey, a supposedly drunk person , but not enough drunk.

I asked him what is the limit for the person to be drunk. He replied 30. Gosh !!! I could have had a couple of more of black dog and I still won’t be drunk

Well I said thanks to the cop and god obviously. As I was half a kilometer from the college, I saw a second of the makeshift citizen harassing “drunk driving” squad. I told the cop, who stopped me that my reading was 8, well below 30 I may add. But he was so taken aback by my erudition that he could not believe me. Again I was put to test and the results were better it was now 7.34. I mockingly looked at the cop and gave him “Told you so” look and sped away….

What the hell

nhili8r — Mon, 12 Sep 2011 20:14:47 +0000

First of all birthday’s are overrated. Feels like I have reached a place, where every passing birthday is a reminder of an unfulfilled promises, wishes and aspirations. At least the day could have been better, but no sir it had to be ruined. The misanthropic feeling is overwhelming. Starting to hate the guts of people around. Everyone is just looking for a pathetic excuse to take advantage of others.

Srsly disturbed !!!

हम से भूल से भी कोई भूल हो जाए तो उस भूल को भूल समझ कर भुला देना

nhili8r — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 16:51:41 +0000

Been a troubled person for two days now. There is something brewing up, something in the subconscious that is playing spoilsport. Is it something that somebody said, is it something that somebody didn’t say. Have no clue. There seems to be anxiety that is overpowering my will. Anxiety about future especially the job. There is a sense of Deja vu with all this when at IIIT, the “after college” worries took over. The same feeling is yet again as Simon&Garfunkel said “Hello darkness my old friend, I have come to talk with you again…” This time the sinking feeling is exasperating. The situation is being made worse with the clamours of an impending recession. Damn PIGS !!!! Somehow it feels that the decoupling theory of India is going to be put to its real test and my pessimistic or rather the realistic instincts tell me there is going to be some serious dent to the decoupling fable.

There are only 9 months left to my IIM B journey and am feeling the trepidation of leaving the place. The freaking future responsibilities are presenting a cogent argument to pursue a Phd. It’s a tough trade off, but worth giving a shot.

Started watching this incredible TV series, modern family. It’s different and good.

Winners don’t do different things, they do things differently.

nhili8r — Mon, 27 Jun 2011 12:32:53 +0000

After a week of sickness and cold the Monday morning brought with all its glory, the stench of classes (no only a single class). Well nothing special about the class, it was the after class thing that be gets a mention. I was working on the assignment of Personal value growth and Career Option (yes they offer these courses at IIM and people like me enrol too). There was a lot of introspection and thought needed to put into these “musings”. So I thought what better way to get the real me out. I opened a pint of budweiser (at around 11:50am) and there it was, the real me out doing the talking . Don’t know what the professor would think about, but it was all heartfelt .

Went for jogging after a loooooooooooooooooong time, the few drags of cigarettes seem to have taken their toll even if I discount the beer belly. Alas !!!

Watched a few pending movies over the weekend.

Harischandra Factory was decent. Donnie Darko was OK. Shaitan was darker than mischievous. Did love the new avatar of “Khoya Khoya Chand” and “Hawa hawai”.

Third time unlucky !!!

nhili8r — Sun, 06 Feb 2011 07:50:33 +0000

Well well well…the prediction that I did a year ago, has unfortunately salvaged its reputation. It feels good to be vindicated but the emotional turmoil and mental trauma has overcompensated for the happiness.

The previous two occasion were at least bearable, I had my friends around. This time I was ambushed by the catastrophic event when I had my guard down. This freaking heart wrenching , cruelty meted out to me is unjustifiable and inexplicable. I just cannot take it anymore….calling it quits..

Hope it ends soon….

Oscars….

nhili8r — Fri, 04 Feb 2011 10:45:57 +0000

After a harrowing time with academics, I now start the Oscar fest . I aim to finish all the Oscars nominated by the next weekend.

Seems like the “law of averages” is catching up with me again. Last year being so exemplary and special in so many ways has run out of steam and the lady luck is all ready to abandon me. The signs are already here and they are really disturbing…. Alas !!!

But life has to go on and “I walk the lonely road on the boulevards of broken dreams”

Classroom musings

nhili8r — Tue, 11 Jan 2011 16:45:57 +0000

When the instructor is blabbering something in which I am least interested there are a few things that we (Ravan and I) do. Think, Listen and See out of the window. Here is an example of that !!

1)Our strategy professor was discussing a case related to a virtual machine design major in US. Quoting our strategy professor “Tension coming in form of releases”

2) “Threat to chip makers” — Coming from ITC Bingo

3) Sondu wrote so I said to ravan , sondu “ek bar” kha gaya, he was quick to point out sondu ate “BAR ONE”

4) Sondu was sleeping and had a pill (not the sleeping ones) too many !!!

Handwriting issues !!!

nhili8r — Mon, 10 Jan 2011 18:20:33 +0000

A new trimester brings not only heralds the beginning of new subjects to learn, new knowledge to explore, but also a reaffirmed determination to make notes and be attentive during the class. For a person like me a new trimester is another chance to start with a clean record, new instructors to gaze upon and wonder what the hell are they saying and most importantly and most importantly a new place in the class to sleep!!!

Well this time I was determined to attend classes regularly, make notes properly and listen to attentively.

With just 5 lectures into the trimester, I have already missed 2 classes, I listen to the ticking clock to end my misery during classes hours, but I made all the notes and the only problem is now I am not able to decipher the script it was written in!!!

No wonder why my high school teacher told me umpteenth times “Improve your handwriting”….

Freaking starts !!!

nhili8r — Sun, 09 Jan 2011 12:36:28 +0000

For the last two years, for me “New year resolution” have been short lived to such an extent that it never lived to see the rising sun of the new year. To put it analogically, it has been like a cigarette butt, burning itself to extinction. Continuing to its reputation, the New Year, continued to bring bad news and this time it was really bad.

My year has a strong resemblance to a cricket game, where the yesteryear’s Indian team starts a chase with early hiccups and tries to salvage and save the game for the remainder of the match. Then the chase succumbs to a devastating defeat unless a “miracle” happens. So much so for the complaining part. The whole year is still left